With every smack of the snooze, every discontented groan that another day is underway, there’s also, somewhere, the harmony of beer bottles being popped open and served to patrons of an idiosyncratic world of 7 AM drinking. Mainly catering to blue-collar, third-shift crowds, the city’s early-to-rise saloons are, for the most part, hard-nosed, old-school Chicago—and, like their clientele, set in their ways and firm in their hours. Then there are those bar-liquor-store mutants ready to egg on the party from the night before, probably with some attitude.
The lively bartender on duty, Annie, who resides above the Fire Escape and has been serving drinks there for 17 years, keeps things light and amiable—never letting moods turn grim—telling stories about both the working-class crews that used to frequent the bar and some of the unsavory clientele that got the boot. She’s the right jolt to the morning and a good reason to lose time, if only for an hour. As we finally begin prepping for our departure to Miller’s Tap, a spot that Annie discloses is, ahem, “not like this place,” she scoops up a glass of ice and sets it on the bar alongside a bottle of Miller Lite. Ten seconds later a longtime customer, one she probably knew was coming before he walked out his front door, ambles in with a carton of Newports under his right arm. He sets them on the bar for her, exchanges pleasantries, and pours his beer on ice—a drinking quirk of which only a very select few are probably aware. We kill our drinks and slink out into the obnoxious sunlight.
Maybe it’s the reality of the day setting in or the numbing reconfiguration of actual human senses, but the tour starts to feel more surreal than maybe it should. Walking out of Higgins’, with the sun at its brightest yet and our eyes bloodshot enough to compel oncoming pedestrians to cross the street, we’ve mutated into some sort of vampire-zombie hybrid. Which is kind of cool, we think.
A few of our favorite actual dive bars
The Falcon Inn Hyde Park
With a stench like urine stewed in Frank’s RedHot, Falcon Inn has “diviest honky-tonk in Hyde Park” all wrapped up. Continue reading»
Just Butch’s Albany Park
Overwhelmingly populated by battle-scarred Henry Chinaski types, high on mop-water fumes and High Life. Continue reading»
Ola’s Liquor Ukrainian Village
You’ll see more people coming in for take-away booze and lottery tickets than sitting down for a drink—and I can’t understand why. Continue reading»
Parrots Bar & Grill Lakeview
The perfect place to, well, shut up and drink. Continue reading»
Rossi’s River North
One of the few remaining downtown dives, Rossi’s isn’t exactly inviting-looking from the outside. Continue reading»
Rose’s Lounge Lincoln Park
The neighborhood tavern that could easily double as your grandmother’s basement. Continue reading»
Teddy Bear Lounge
Avondale
There are some bars where the regulars are so regular they practically live there, and any nonregulars are regarded as foreign species. Continue reading»
Wally’s Lounge Avondale
If you order a cocktail at Wally’s, don’t expect any ice: they don’t have any. Continue reading»
