QI’m a Savage Lovecast listener, but I’m sending this question to your column because my boyfriend would for sure recognize my voice if I called the show. I’m 25, I live in Portland, and my boyfriend and I have been monogamous for five years. His dick is of average size. It’s not small enough for him to have dealt with the emotional baggage associated with “small dicks.” Yet, I’ve had sex with big dicks, and I would love to try one of those dick sheaths or extenders or whatever. But my boyfriend is a sensitive guy, and I feel like I’m going to permanently fuck up our sex life if I ask for one. How can I propose this without him feeling like his manhood is insufficient? I’ve heard you talk about how it’s best to share your kinks as if they were added bonuses—and not as if they were terminal cancers—but I can’t figure out how to talk about this without hurting his ego. Advice? —Sincerely Loves Average Man
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Matthew and his partner, Erika Moen, collaboratively create an informative, subversive, and entertaining weekly comic that focuses on the world of sex—from sex-toy reviews to interviews with people in the sex industry to sharing sex-education lessons. They research and write the text together, and Erika does all the drawing. Why comics?
In a recent comic, Matthew gave cock sheaths a try. Cock sheaths—for those of you who haven’t visited a sex-toy shop in a while—are a popular new sex toy that allows an average dude to be huge, and a huge dude to be ridiculous. They’re pliable-but-firm hollow dildos that a guy wears over his dick. The dude slides his hard, lubed-up dick inside the sheath, pulls his balls through a ring at the base that prevents the sheath from sliding off, and proceeds to bang away at his partner’s hole(s) like a porn star.
I’m going to break in here for a second: If you feel like your boyfriend might have a meltdown if you start talking about wanting something huge for a change—the implication being, of course, that he isn’t able to provide you with that something on his own (how big are his forearms?)—head to the sex-toy shop without any stated agenda and see how he reacts to the cock sheaths on display. If he recoils from them, SLAM, you might wanna steer him over to the body paints and bondage gear. But if he seems intrigued and not threatened by the cock sheaths, ask him how he’d feel about fucking you with one of those, without seeming too hugely invested in being fucked by one of those yourself.
AYes, CASD, you should drop it—and by “it” I mean “him.”
