In the early 80s, Black Flag drove to Miami. Their style of Hello Kitty t shirts and cutoff jeans forced the Miami Beach punxes of the era to doff their leather jackets and mohawks in favor of fuggit apparel that the rest of the youth culture only caught onto like 5 months ago. Fast forward to 2006, when Animal Collective and GangGang Dance played at the Vagabond in midtown, because bands only come to Miami when galleries pay their way in December for Art Basel; Animal Collective is now alternative Miami’s favorite band.

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I quit booking shows when I lived where everyone wanted to go. Now, I will book your show. I will make sure you eat well. I’ll take you to the beach in February. You’ll get to scope out your apt. for when Cuban travel is an Obama possibility. I can’t promise the ass thing, but if you know how to work it…