There was a time in living memory when winter holiday entertainment came in two semiofficial flavors: A Christmas Carol and The Nutcracker. Well, ha! That’s over. You can still get your dose of tradition at, say, Goodman Theatre and the Joffrey; other possibilities, meanwhile, have not only multiplied but atomized. If your inclinations run that way, you can now have your Dickens done in Klingon, silent-movie style, or with a craft-beer theme. Joan Crawford and even Satan have joined the pantheon of seasonal icons that formerly didn’t go much beyond Ebenezer Scrooge and It’s a Wonderful Life‘s George Bailey. Every storefront theater and sketch company has its cunning spin. I’d blame social media if I could only figure out how. Here are ten shows culled from the current tsunami. Others are in our listings already, and plenty more are coming. —Tony Adler
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Christmas Bingo: It’s a Ho-Ho-Holy Night Vicki Quade has made a career out of Catholic comedy (Late Night Catechism, Bible Bingo), and she’s in top form here as Mrs. Mary Margaret O’Brien, a former nun who now heads up the archdiocese’s new bingo fund-raising department. Wearing an appropriately kitschy “Happiness Is Playing Bingo” T-shirt, Quade nonetheless plays her character as the sort of stern taskmaster remembered and perhaps beloved by Catholic audience members, quick to send disobedient bingo players—this includes you—to stand with their noses to the chalkboard. Or donate a dollar to the church’s pagan-baby fund. Quade delivers little-known Christmas facts with an effective deadpan, bingo helps keep the audience engaged, and the comical throwback prizes include Bing Crosby records and, for the Jewish set, a little Barbra Streisand. —Marissa Oberlander Through 1/5: Fri-Sat 8 PM, Sun 3 PM, Royal George Theatre Center, 1641 N. Halsted, 312-988-9000, christmasbingo.info, $30.
Christmas Dearest This season Hell in a Handbag artistic director David Cerda risks his scrappy company’s financial health by replacing its perennial holiday moneymaker, Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer, and gambling on an untested show. It’s likely to pay off. Cerda wrote and stars in this sublimely awful musical about Joan Crawford starring in a sublimely awful musical about the life of Jesus Christ (she’s the Blessed Virgin, natch). Forcing her cast to work on December 25, the diva earns visitations from two Christmas spirits—and Bette Davis—who attempt to revive her dormant humanity. Corrupting A Christmas Carol with vulgar, campy hysterics yields almost nonstop delights—and even bits of wisdom. Director AJ Wright’s daring, disciplined cast deliver the goods as Cerda’s craft approaches Ludlamesque heights. Rudolph who? —Justin Hayford Through 12/29: Thu-Sun, times vary; see website, Mary’s Attic Theatre, 5400 N. Clark, 773-784-6969, handbagproductions.org, $15-$25.
The Seafarer Conor McPherson‘s 2006 play unfolds in the squalid home of Irish brothers Richard, a petulant drunk who’s recently lost his eyesight, and Sharky, a hotheaded drunk who’s recently lost his job. They spend Christmas Eve playing poker with neighboring drunks Ivan and Nicky, as well as a suave stranger who turns out to be the devil come to collect Sharky’s soul. It may not sound like ideal holiday fare, but McPherson supplies a kind of provisional redemption that feels more earned and far more genuine than what you’ll find in most entertainment options this time of year. Matt Miller’s fine staging for Seanachai Theatre Company is beautifully acted, particularly by an energetically cranky Brad Armacost as Richard and a touchingly befuddled Ira Amyx as Ivan. —Zac Thompson Through 1/5: Thu-Sat 7:30 PM, Sun 3 PM, Den Theatre, 1333 N. Milwaukee, 773-609-2336, seanachai.org, $21-$30.
