Q: I’m a straight male, 21 years old. I love women, I’ve always loved women, I’ve always loved having sex with women. However, in the last year, here and there, I’ve jerked off to transsexual porn. One night, after drinking with a friend and smoking some hash, I arranged a date with a trans sex worker. She was totally womanly, nothing manly about her, except for, you know. She licked my butt, gave me head, and fingered me. I’ve been on the receiving end of anal play before from girls, so nothing new. But somewhere during this encounter, I became the receiving partner during anal sex. At the time, I was too fucked up to care. But the next day, I started to feel really bad. She was very safe and used condoms for everything. I just can’t get past the fact that I did the gayest thing a guy can do. I feel really depressed about this traumatic situation. I can’t seem to enjoy my life anymore. I’ve even felt somewhat suicidal. (I would never kill myself—I wouldn’t do that to my family and friends.) I still want to date women and have sex with women. I don’t regret being with a trans woman because I wanted to experiment. I’ve been tested since the encounter to make sure I didn’t catch anything. What I regret is her sticking her thing in my butt. Can a single act like this make me gay? Please help. —Wrong Side of Wild Side
Maybe this will help: Like a lot of gay men, I had sex with a woman before I came out. I did the straightest thing a guy can do—I put my dick in a vag—and it didn’t make me straight. You did the gayest thing a guy can do—you let someone put a dick in your ass—but that didn’t make you gay. Because you’re not gay, WSOWS, and one ride on a trans escort’s dick can’t change that.
- Some gay people think throuples are odd, some think they’re unremarkable, and some think they’re sensible. And some gay people—some dumb ones—think gay throuples are bad PR at a time when gay couples are fighting for the right to marry. But our fight is for equal rights, not double standards, and no one argues that straight marriage should be banned because of all the straight throuples, quadles, quintles, sextetles, etc out there.
The act to which you refer—rubbing your penis between someone’s ass cheeks as foreplay or as a substitute for intercourse—is known variously as frottage, outercourse, the Princeton Rub, or “the pearl tramp stamp.” But in Chicago, it’s known as “the Cardinal George.”
