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Fortunately, the staff at Time Out Chicago has seen fit to create a drinking game based on the infelicities of Blackstone’s prose. A few examples/excuses to drink:
Drink anytime you find yourself saying “Yikes!” aloud while reading. Ex: “I inserted myself, gradually and suddenly, my cock jumping the Brazilian waxed turnstile, and plunged into the subway.” p. 119
Drink in this sentence (again): “For twenty years, my cock had stood at perpetual attention, stoic, compliant, dimly guileless, smiling dumbly, yet capable, in theory, of wreaking great havoc, like an armed and overweight bank branch rent-a-cop.” p. 99
And this: “With a formidable intake of breath, she respired her olfactory mucosa, which elevated snot into her brain. I suspected that illicit trafficked agents had spent the better part of the night up there colluding with her latent lower-minded impulses.” p. 184
Also weird: after Time Out‘s theater critic Kris Vire tweeted, “The workday pretty much fell apart when we started reading Charles Blackstone’s novel out loud to each other,” Blackstone tweeted back, “I see drinking game potential.” So he’s pretty much giving them permission to mock his deathless prose?
