QMy fiance and I have been together for six years. We’re both 27. About a year ago he admitted to me that he is bi—which I was surprised about. I told him that I was bicurious. We’ve had talks about meeting with other couples, but I’m very insecure. I’ve been with very few men and no women (beyond kissing). Today my fiance told me that a few weeks ago he signed us up on a personals website, where he posted a picture of me naked from the waist down. I was shocked and upset. I have never posted nude pics of myself anywhere! I felt this was a violation of my privacy. He says that I wasn’t actively doing anything about getting outside partners, so he wanted to show me that I’m attractive and that other people thought so. He got angry when I tried to explain why I was upset—he said that if this is how I’m going to react, he’d take the whole thing down. When I tried again to explain that I was hurt that he didn’t talk to me first and I actually did want to see the responses, he said, “Fuck it”—he was giving up, and he refused to show me the responses.

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  1. Does he have a right to feel angry with me for being initially upset? —What Should I Do?

A1. No.

AYou two may be experiencing—and you may be misinterpreting—a normal four-years-in decrease in the frequency of sex, CAM, or this could be one of those lulls that even couples in LTRs that don’t see a drop in frequency sometimes experience. That the amount of sex you and your fiance are having fell off steeply in the immediate wake of the “talk” may just be a coincidence.

QThat was a great response you gave to the woman who was concerned about her boyfriend stroking his dick and the cat at the same time. I mean, sometimes I’ll start absentmindedly jerking off while watching TV, and it has absolutely nothing to do with what’s on the screen. What if someone walked in and saw me beating off and Geraldo was on the screen? The two things are completely unconnected, and any reasonable person would realize that! —Not Geraldo Tonight