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We are looking for a persuasive, charismatic leader. Personal magnetism, previously unimportant, will be essential now in building support, given a scarcity of contracts, grants, and jobs to dole out to supporters and aldermen. Position requires outstanding diplomatic ability. Chosen candidate will supervise a council which is expected to become less agreeable, and must field pointed questions from reporters, preferably without threatening to shoot them.
Applicant should have masterful strategic acumen and superb discretion. Chosen candidate must jump-start stalled gentrification process, while continuing to avoid the g-word. (May use “renaissance” or “transformation.”)
Salary is $216,000. We also offer a splendid benefits package, including chauffeur, bodyguards, personal physician, City Hall shoe-shine, choice seats at sporting and cultural events, and unlimited visits to our internationally acclaimed downtown park.
