Q I’m a straight 24-year-old female who has known my fiance since freshman year of college. He has a fetish where he likes to watch women use the bathroom. I knew this, having seen some of his porn early on, and I accepted it. We all have kinks. But while peeing in front of someone isn’t that big of a deal, shitting in front of someone is hard.
(2) Yes. However excited your fiance was about finally realizing his watch-my-girl-take-a-shit fantasy, he shouldn’t have pressured you to perform once it became clear that it wasn’t gonna happen. (And he shouldn’t encourage you to smoke cigarettes; those things will kill you.) Shitting in front of someone—and here’s hoping that’s as far as his interest in poop goes—isn’t easy, POOP, and badgering you won’t help. Your fiance, if he knows what’s good for him, will hang back, let you set the pace, and thank his lucky fucking stars that he found someone who’s willing to even try.
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You’re being used. Your ex-girlfriend sent that out-of-the-blue text because she wanted to feel wanted. Maybe she got dumped recently, or maybe she’s in the midst of a dry spell, or maybe she’s just selfish and cruel. But all she’s after here—most likely—are the ego boosts your texts provide. And to keep those boosts coming, LAME, she’s dangling a little false hope in front of you: she told you the truth so she wouldn’t have to admit to herself that she’s a manipulative liar (she only thinks of you as a friend) and then tacked on some meaningless, impossible-to-disprove crap (a relationship might be possible if she starts to have feelings for you again) to keep you texting.
Stay married, stay faithful, and stew in your own frustration and resentment until you die; stay married, cheat with cause, and hope you don’t get caught; inform your spouse that you’re not going to ask her to do things she’s not comfortable with but you’re also not going to ask for her permission to do those things with other women, and be cast as the villain when she files for divorce; or initiate the divorce yourself, find a new partner, and make sure your new partner both enjoys sex and enjoys the kinds of sex you do before you marry her. (Hint: if she likes sex, and likes the stuff you like, she’ll want to do that stuff whether you’re married to her or not.)
