QA friend of mine on the opposite coast is a cross-dresser considering transitioning. He came out to a female friend he had known for a long time but hadn’t seen in a while, and she told her that she wanted her to come to her house fully dressed for some hot sex to “explore her bi-curiosity” or some shit. I told her to go for it, saying gender-transgression play is potentially hot. I neglected to mention that she should only go for it if she trusted this girl (hereafter known as “Evil Bitch”). Evil Bitch backed out as soon as she arrived, but took her out to dinner (still fully dressed) as consolation. When she first told me this, I thought, “Oh well, Evil Bitch got cold feet, that sucks.” Now my friend is telling me that Evil Bitch messaged a bunch of mutual friends he wasn’t out to, outing my friend to them. After my friend told Evil Bitch that what went down between them was private, Evil Bitch just responded with “LOL k,” and THEN posted pictures from their dinner date—fully dressed—on her Facebook. I told my friend to call Evil Bitch up and tell her what a violation of privacy and betrayal of trust that was. She just called him a faggot and hung up. I feel bad because I encouraged her to go for it. Is there anything my friend can do? She’s freaking out and thinks that Evil Bitch ruined her life. —Friend of Crossdresser Betrayed by Evil Bitch

I’ve known a few people who were outed by malicious shits like Evil Bitch—outed as gay or kinky or swingers or poly or all of the above—and it sucks and it hurts and, yes, it can turn a person’s life upside down. But most of the people I’ve known who were outed looked back on the experience a year or two later with . . . well . . . not with gratitude, but they woke up one day happy to be free of the stress of keeping their big secret. Maybe Your Friend will feel the same way, and Your Friend will have Evil Bitch to thank.

“Dear Abby: Two men who claim to be father and adopted son just bought an old mansion across the street and fixed it up. We notice a very suspicious mixture of company coming and going at all hours—blacks, whites, Orientals, women who look like men, and men who look like women. This has always been considered one of the finest sections of San Francisco, and these weirdos are giving it a bad name. How can we improve the neighborhood? —Nob Hill Residents