QMy girlfriend always responds positively when I initiate sex with her, but she hardly ever initiates sex with me. I’m a no-beat-around-the-bush kind of guy, but I realize that this can be a sensitive topic, and I don’t want to scare her by saying, “Please initiate sex more often!” So I do small things to coax her and let her know that I want her to initiate. I will lotion up in front of her after we shower. Or I’ll say something like “I wanted to fuck last night—maybe you can wear one of your sexy bras and thongs one day soon?” But it hasn’t worked. The only time she’ll initiate is if I haven’t initiated for a while and she’s sexually frustrated. But that can take days! —Girlfriend Rarely Initiates Naked Dance
Sorry, GRIND, but you’re the dense one in this relationship. “I wanted to fuck last night—maybe you can wear one of your sexy bras and thongs one day soon?” does not autotranslate to “Please initiate sex more often.” The likely takeaway from that statement is “I wanted to fuck last night, but the granny panties/pajama bottoms/hazmat Spanx you were wearing were such a turnoff that I couldn’t get it up. You suck at this girlfriend shit.” And while seeing your boyfriend “lotion up” after a shower may inspire lust, it doesn’t communicate a very specific need like “Please initiate sex more often.” The only thing it communicates for sure is “My boyfriend isn’t going to put up with dry skin.”
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QMy girlfriend snooped on my browser history the other day specifically to see what porn I had been looking at. I’ve told her I look at porn a few times a week, and she said she didn’t mind. She asked me what type of stuff I usually look at, and I was mostly honest. My viewing habits are pretty vanilla except for BBW porn. It’s not my go-to, but it was what she found in my browser history the day she snooped. She had some issues, and I don’t know how to address them. I’m not more attracted to overweight women than other women, but sometimes that type just does it for me. Compounding this, my girlfriend is overweight—not on par with the women in the videos I watched—and now she’s worried that her weight is the only reason I’m attracted to her. It’s not! How can I explain this to her and put her mind at ease? —Busted Boyfriend Worries
