QI just started an intense relationship with a guy who has a boyfriend. This guy and I love each other. However, he is uncomfortable with me meeting his boyfriend. I’ve asked if it’s OK that we’re fucking, and he said they’re in an open relationship so it’s OK. I asked if it’s OK that we’re in love, and he said yes. So why the secrecy? My lover’s only explanation is that his boyfriend doesn’t want to know about the guys he fucks around with. The whole situation is starting to make me uneasy. I can’t figure out why I want to know more about his boyfriend. Is it so I can verify that he’s not cheating, or that jealousy is an issue for them and that’s why I can’t meet him? I do know that I wish my lover would be more open with me. Should I just relax? —The Other Person
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That said, most couples with a “don’t want to know about the other people you’re fucking” rule—and that’s a pretty common rule—also have a rule against getting emotionally involved with the other people they’re fucking. So if it’s against the rules for the guy you’re seeing to introduce his boy on the side to his boyfriend, TOP, odds are good that swapping “I love yous” with his boy on the side is against the rules, too.
But to answer your question: No, TOP, don’t relax. DTMFA.
AMy advice: lick your hubby’s balls while you jerk him off.
AI’m going to assume that you two are in a committed relationship, that you’ve both been tested and have either no STIs or the same STIs, that neither of you is having unprotected sex with anyone else, that you rarely eat asparagus or beets, that you don’t plan on doing this in front of your pets, etc.
