In a culture obsessed with youth, we’re constantly informed that sex is the glue that holds a good marriage together. But as the years pass and desire fades, most happy couples will tell you the stronger bond is shared memory: it’s the history spouses draw on every day, informing all their in-jokes and knowing glances and loving accommodations. Without memory there’s no real understanding, because the past is where all lessons dwell, and there’s no real intimacy, because the present belongs to everyone. Old friends are the best friends not because they’re old but because they remember us young.
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The movie is the feature writing and directing debut of accomplished Canadian actress Sarah Polley (The Sweet Hereafter, Don’t Come Knocking, Dawn of the Dead), who, at only 28, proves remarkably attuned to the texture of a relationship that’s weathered decades. Grant and Fiona have been together so long they barely need to speak; their telegraphic conversations are seasoned with little conspiratorial jokes, and observations can be rendered with the slight raise of a chin. Their playfulness springs from a deep well of hard-won wisdom. Reading aloud from a book on Alzheimer’s, Fiona tells Grant that a caregiver must be cheerful in the face of abuse and patient when the other is upset for no apparent reason. “Sounds like a regular marriage,” she adds. At another point Fiona pretends to have forgotten something, worrying Grant, then chirps, “Just kidding!” Relieved, Grant responds with a lighthearted “Fuck off!”
Unfortunately, Meadowlake seems almost purposely designed to erase the past. As the nursing home’s starchy director explains to Grant, no visitors are allowed for the first 30 days; the policy is supposed to help newcomers “settle in,” but as one nurse points out, it benefits the staff more than the residents. A big-screen TV provides constant present-tense distraction, and the bland contemporary music seems to have been chosen by the young staffers. Eventually Grant realizes that the laundry service carelessly redistributes the residents’ clothing, so they wind up wearing one another’s things. Most of them are too far gone to notice, but he’s appalled when he arrives one day to find Fiona wearing a tacky sweater she never would have tolerated at home. For the sake of others’ convenience, her personality is being pried away from her.
Written and directed by Sarah Polley, from a story by Alice Munro
With Julie Christie, Gordon Pinsent, Olympia Dukakis, Kristen Thomson, and Michael Murphy
