Q Thank you for your advocacy of monogamishy. (Monogamishness?) When I fell in love with my gloriously kinky and GGG wife several years ago, we were honest about our sexual desires—vast and wide-ranging—and we negotiated an arrangement that works for us. We encourage each other’s outside crushes, and we both just want to be present while one of us is banging that outside crush. Your column gave us the tools we needed to talk with other potentially kinky folks. Thanks!
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AYou’re welcome for monogamishamy—the correct noun form of the adjective monogamish—and I’m delighted that it’s helped you and the wife negotiate successful encounters with “outside crushes,” STAIN, and I trust that you and the wife strive to make sure those encounters are as rewarding for the crushes as they are for you two.
Now, about those sheets . . .
“If you want to be a total sweetheart,” said HOH, “strip the bed. Pull the sheets off and leave them balled up on the floor. All the ladies know what that means, and I promise you that no one goes poking in sheets left on the floor. They toss that ball in the cart and send it straight to the laundry.”
Now, some gay dudes will be annoyed when they discover that the guy they’ve invested ten whole minutes in eye fucking isn’t gay, but most will welcome your presence as proof that—forgive me—it gets better. Straight dudes hanging out in gay bars with their gay friends? Straight dudes who are secure enough in their own sexuality that they’re comfortable with being viewed as a sex object by other men? Sure signs of progress, NOCLUE. That some gay dudes will have to waste a few precious minutes of their lives flirting with men they can’t suckfuckrimdatemarry is a small price to pay to be reminded that we live in a less homophobic world.
And take it from me, ST: Hot, considerate, caring, similarly libidinous, and shared long-term goals isn’t a package that comes along every day. You could do a lot worse.
