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I like to think that I was doing my part for the war in Iraq. I wasn’t enlisted, and I wasn’t involved in the rehabilitation services for the troops when they came home. Instead, I was prehabilitating our fighters by keeping their homes happy. While they were away with their heads in the sand, I was here in the Land of Lincoln, banging their wives. It was a thankless job. I’d have to leave immediately afterward. No cuddle. No shower.
Nothing wakes you from dreamy bliss like the words, “I’m gonna cut your little balls off, bitch.” It makes you stop breathing. Then comes the sweat.
“Well, god fucking bless America.”
Monica Ekks—Scott’s Cock
Sofia Penelope Brown—555-Weed
Marisa Vlasak—The Girl With the Elephant Balloon
S.L. Wisenberg—Paris
Jack Berger—Say It Again, Vince
