QI’m 16 and gay. I recently got into an argument with my parents over whether HIV is spread by saliva or if you can be infected during oral sex. I thought that you were safe kissing and that it’s OK to have oral sex, but that you need to use condoms for anal sex. My parents disagree and I found mixed answers searching online. I trust you, though—what do you say? —Good Gay Boy
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Stone makes a great point: You can’t be exposed to HIV unless you’re having sex with someone who has HIV. The AIDS virus isn’t fire and gay men aren’t twigs; it doesn’t matter how vigorously you rub us against each other, we’re not going to suddenly burst into HIV. If you’re having sex—safe sex—with someone who’s HIV-negative like you, GGB, you have nothing to worry about on the HIV front. Well, except for your boyfriend’s truthfulness and any changes to his HIV status since his last test—which is why you should be having safe sex regardless, even if you think you’re both negative.
But let’s say you’re not with just one guy. Let’s say you’re running around having sex—safe sex—with random guys (not that I’m saying you should). Some of these guys are likely to be HIV-positive. So are you at risk of contracting HIV when you kiss poz guys?
What about oral sex? What kind of risks are there when you’re blowing guys who could be positive?
“It’s great that you recognize that using condoms for anal sex is the best way to prevent HIV transmission,” says Hargraves. “Score one for gay youth!”
And, come on, I never said that a younger person can’t fall for an older person or vice versa. But an older man who thinks he’s getting an interested vibe from a younger woman has to be on his guard against dickful thinking. GIL needs to ask himself if his coworker is truly interested before he does anything rash/idiotic/actionable. That’s all I was saying.
