Q I’m a bisexual woman, age 20, and I’m threesome-ing it with my best friend and her boyfriend during a stay abroad. I knew the girl (who’s mostly straight) beforehand. The girl thinks it’s hot when I participate—i.e., when it’s all three of us in bed—but she gets jealous when her boyfriend and I do anything without her. This seems unnecessary, because I don’t get jealous when she’s alone with her boyfriend, and he doesn’t get jealous when she and I do things alone.
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Wait, did I say the secret to threesome-ing success? I’m sorry, BGI, I meant failure. To ensure the failure of a threesome—whether you’re threesome-ing your way through an evening or a summer abroad—it’s crucial that you refrain from establishing ground rules. Don’t talk about your expectations, just make assumptions; don’t make sure everyone’s on the same page, just stomp around the minefield of love and lust until the whole fucking thing blows up in your faces.
I hope you’re detecting the sarcasm here, BGI.
Q I’m a 29-year-old single gay man with some major kinks: I’m into bondage (preferably inescapable), I’m into diapers, and I have a very subby fantasy life. I’m wondering how someone with my kinks should approach dating. Should I look for a partner in the usual ways and hope that I find someone open-minded? Or should I look mainly in kinky contexts?
But looking for someone to play along with me has been fruitless thus far. The one boyfriend I did bring it up with sat there and stared at me for so long that I dried right up and never mentioned it again. I ran an ad in the local online personals (M, M-F, M-M), outlining what I was interested in, thinking that with all the exhibitionists out there, surely someone would bite. Nothing. I did get a response, but it was from another woman. She wanted to know if I’d had any replies, and to ask if she could sit in if anyone took me up on my offer. Any ideas, Dan? —Opera Glasses
