Serious question: I have always had a thing for Anna Nicole Smith and frequently masturbated to her Playboy photos. I’ve always felt some guilt about masturbation to begin with, but since her death I now feel a little creepy doing it. Do you think it’s OK to continue now that she has passed away? –Missing Anna Nicole
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But masturbating to pictures of the dead inspires only feelings of hopelessness and despair. Which is why no one beats off to James Dean or River Phoenix or Marilyn Monroe or Mary Todd Lincoln without feeling a little creepy, a little hopeless, and a little closer to the grave himself. Knock it off.
I’m intelligent, attractive, and have a great sense of humor. It’s taken a little bit of time, but I’m really comfortable with who I am. What I am is a 25-year-old virgin. I just keep missing out on sex, usually because there are no condoms around. Recently, though, I’ve noticed that the guys I date just can’t seem to get past the virgin issue. I think they don’t want the “responsibility” attached to deflowering me. In the past two cases the guys were willing when we were naked, but there were no condoms. Then when we weren’t naked there was a step back and we stopped seeing each other. I’m also growing increasingly frustrated. What do you suggest? –Should I Be Honest?
That and money. And blow. And looks. Good luck.
I read your column faithfully every week in the Orlando Weekly. But I need to ask two things. What does the abbreviation GGG stand for? And what was the Web site that you mentioned a while ago for men to meet transsexuals? –A Faithful Fan
