QI’m a 32-year-old female engaged to a 34-year-old man.
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Since then, he has brought up this subject when he’s inebriated. I’ve told him that as long as this fetish remains a fantasy, I won’t make an issue of it. I also told him that when I am sober it makes me fairly uncomfortable and that it exploits the animal involved. He argued what I’m sure a lot of people into bestiality believe: it isn’t cruelty or abuse if it’s a male dog doing what comes instinctively to that dog. He also told me that he once had a girlfriend who allowed a dog into their sex life, him as a voyeur, her as a participant in full-on sex with the animal. At that point I changed the subject and we had good old vanilla sex with no more talk of dogs, but he was really turned on, much more so than most times we have sex with no talk of bestiality. I love this man a lot and in every other way our lives are pretty wonderful. Perhaps he drinks a bit much, but we have both cut back on drinking in the past month—this is a commitment we have made to each other.
I know that bestiality is one of the fetishes you disapprove of, Dan, but I have no one else to ask about this. —Dog Day Shafternoon
Catch that? While your boyfriend’s interests may not qualify as animal abuse—and many would debate that point—hounding you about it endlessly does qualify as girlfriend/fiancee/wife abuse.
So what the hell do you do, DDS?
But I’ve gone without oral for 15 years! I’ve explained to him that I can’t come—not hard!—without it. He insists that he never will go there and he has accused me of trying to make him do something totally against his moral code. I’m distraught to the point of wanting to cheat on him just to get some oral. What do I do? —Unlicky in Love
