QI’m a 22-year-old female, and the older I get, the more often I am ridiculed by straight men for being ugly. Just last night, a man asked me if I was jealous of my pretty friends and if I wished I could look like them. I know I’m unattractive, but I’ve met wonderful girls who I think are at least as physically unattractive as me who have managed to find someone to love them. I need to know if I should even bother anymore—it’s hard to find a job, make friends, and basically just find people who will treat me like a human being. I shower every day, try to dress well, and wear makeup, but none of it seems to help. It appears that my only options are plastic surgery or suicide, and the older I get, the more appealing the latter becomes. And no, I don’t have body dysmorphic disorder, I am absolutely sure. —Anonymous
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AYou can send me a picture if you like, Anonymous, preferably one taken by the brand-new therapist that you’re going to get. Because you may or may not have body dysmorphic disorder, and you may or may not be ugly, and your friends may or may not be shining you on, but you clearly need more help than I can give you in this space. But I’ll accept your self-diagnosis and say this much…
So the number of guys who can appreciate what you bring to the table—your humanity, your compassion, your ability to love—will grow over time, kiddo, and you may find in middle age what your girlfriends found as young adults. Unless you off yourself in the meantime, Anonymous, in which case you won’t be around to watch those cruel, drunken boys deteriorate, wither, and die. And why would you want to cheat yourself out of that?
AYour points are well taken, TSFAP, and I hear you. Hell, I agree with you; I frequently tear into faggots who play up their disgust with female genitals in a misguided attempt to justify their gayness. But my comparison of female genitals to canned hams dropped from great heights wasn’t grounded in disgust, TSFAP, so much as it was unfamiliarity. And, hey, I deserve some credit for comparing women’s genitals to something I will put in my mouth. Ham? Love it! Baked or canned, dropped from a great height or grilled to perfection—can’t get enough! It would have been infinitely ruder of me to compare women’s genitals to something I would never, ever put in my mouth, something like … uh… women’s genitals.
