I’m a 47-year-old man and my wife is 49. We got married four years ago. Two days ago, she came back from the doctor and told me she has genital herpes. I am floored. She said she just found out. She said she must have contracted it years ago and never had an outbreak until ten days ago. She has been to the doctor countless times over the last 20 years. I don’t know what to think. Is it really possible she didn’t know?
“His wife could have been exposed to the herpes virus decades ago,” says Karen J. Pataky, a nurse practitioner and clinician at Planned Parenthood of Metropolitan Washington. Which means it’s possible that your wife didn’t know, MIST–believe it. Why would she suddenly have an outbreak? “Her immune system could have kept it contained all this time,” says Pataky. “As we near 50, our immune systems become a little less competent to deal with certain things.”
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“Cancer, HIV, heart attacks–that’s horrible news,” says Pataky. “This is not horrible news. Herpes is not something to ruin a marriage over, medically speaking. It’s never life threatening and it’s possible to go years without any outbreaks.”
Well, not outed, exactly. Whitney had begun quietly coming out to a few friends when a blog, the Michigan Conservative Dossier, posted an item about him that hurried the process along. Between the Lines, Michigan’s gay newspaper, published a story, which was then picked up by national gay bloggers.
Eighteen is old enough to drive a car, join the army, vote, and come out. Someone who’s 18 and gay should know better than to march with sign-carrying assholes at antigay rallies. Someone who’s 18 and gay and politically active, as Whitney is, should be savvy enough to know that working for antigay politicians makes him a prime outing candidate.
