Q My husband and I have been together for about four years and have been married for a little over a year. He’s 31; I’m 27. We started out as friends and soon began a long-distance relationship, until I got pregnant. We have a great friendship, and honestly I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. Here’s our problem: I have the sex drive of a 16-year-old boy, whereas he’s practically asexual. The fact that we even got pregnant is quite shocking.
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A Your husband—who’s beating off three times a week in front of the computer—is interested in sex, SAD. He’s just not interested in sex with you or anyone else he’s ever been with. But ultimately the issue here isn’t sex. It’s neglect and selfishness and false advertising. (When we marry, we’re signing up to fuck someone at least semiregularly for decades. Not interested in fucking? Don’t marry.) Since he’s unlikely to change his ways—his stunted, sexually selfish ways—you have just two options: an open relationship or a new relationship.
Considering your compatibility and the fact that you have a child, I’d encourage you to stay together. So an open relationship it is—and he shouldn’t have a problem with that. If sex doesn’t matter to him, if he’s indifferent to sex and/or you, then it shouldn’t matter to him if you occasionally do this supremely unimportant thing with other people and/or minor-league soccer teams. So long as you’re a good and loving partner and coparent, and so long as your family is your first priority, you should be free to seek safe, sane, and nondisruptive sex elsewhere. Added perk for him: no more quasi-forced sex with you.
Q I appreciated your responses to Missing Kisses and Loses Interest Quickly, and I would like to share what worked for me some years ago when I wanted to taste my own come but was hesitant—and I’ve got two follow-up questions for you.
“Sperm frozen in a household freezer would probably be useless for insemination,” says David E. Battaglia, an associate professor at Oregon Health & Science University and a fertility consultant. “The issue isn’t genetic damage (there probably wouldn’t be any). The issue is sperm survival. Sperm has to be frozen in special solutions in order to survive, and we freeze it in liquid-nitrogen temperatures.”
