QI am a 23-year-old woman living with my 25-year-old boyfriend. We have been dating for a little over a year, and for the majority of that time we had a great sex life. Unfortunately, when we decided to move in together we also decided to stop having intercourse until we decide to get married. We made this choice with a couple factors in mind: (1) lots of pressure from religious parents who urged us not to engage in premarital sex, and (2) we aren’t ready to risk having a kid.
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AI’ve written columns stoned, I’ve written columns hammered, and I’ve written columns on prescription medications—not necessarily prescribed to me—that impaired my ability to operate heavy machinery. And, you know, my laptop is so old that it probably qualifies as heavy machinery. But I’ve never written a column after three straight nights of brain-killing insomnia.
OK, NSFU, I’ve got a few suggestions.
AGay men in their 30s and 40s who will date teenage boys are almost always scum, TWINK, as you’ve surmised. But gay guys in their 30s and 40s who will date 23-year-olds? Some are scum, of course, because some of everyone is scum, but the scum makes up a far smaller percentage of the total. And these nonscummy older men are much more likely to be interested in a 23-year-old who has his shit together.
ASex workers and clients do occasionally fall in love (check out the wonderful memoir Concertina by Susan Winemaker), so it does happen, LIL. But it happens so rarely that I was reluctant to print your letter, as it will give countless johns false hope. But I’m sleep deprived, so here it is. Congrats on finding the love of (fingers crossed) your life, LIL.
