In this very special edition of Savage Love, I answer letters from the readers who made the largest donations to the campaigns to preserve marriage equality in California (noonprop8.com), protect same-sex couples in Florida (sayno2.com), and defeat Stephen Harper in Canada.
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- One of our “games” is when I get him almost to orgasm… and then don’t allow him to come. He really likes being denied orgasms, and maybe it’s my inner man-pleaser, but sometimes I just like when he comes because it makes me feel some sense of accomplishment and competence as a lover. However, I’ve noticed lately that when I do let him come, he kind of acts like a jerk afterward. Is this typical postorgasm, men-don’t-need-to-cuddle behavior, or is he upset because I didn’t “deny” him? I’ve asked him, but he’s not very chatty when he’s in his postorgasm jerk mode. —Inexperienced Pegger Eagerly Gratifies
A1. It’s not your job to “figure out” how to dominate him. It’s your job—both of your jobs—to talk about your turn-ons at great length and then come up with a list of mutually pleasurable BDSM activities and fantasies you want to explore together. Then when you’re fucking around, IPEG, stick pretty close to the items and fantasies on that agreed-upon list—not a list of what he wants, but a list of what you both want—while gently pushing his boundaries. And while you’re fucking around, he should refrain from all bossy behaviors and just freaking submit.
Blowing Smoke likes smoking pot and she likes giving head—but her mouth is too dry after smoking up to give a good blow job. Now this is a little gross, but generally when people vomit they emit an excess amount of saliva. So, one way to remedy a lack of lubrication when giving a blow job is to deep-throat his cock until you provoke a slight—emphasis on slight, you don’t want to actually puke on him—gag-reflex reaction, which will trigger the production of saliva. —Supports the Gay Agenda
I’m a 30-year-old gay guy and moved from one city to another. Shortly after I moved, my boyfriend dumped me and I began a fairly long and severe depression. I had scarcely any friends in my new city, but never in my life did I need friends more.
And you got it—under false pretenses. Understandable, again, given your emotional state, but not cool.
