QI’m a 23-year-old guy and I have been dating my 21-year-old girlfriend for about two years. We did the long-distance thing for a year, and after she graduated she moved from the east coast to the midwest to be with me while I finish my degree. Everything was great until she moved in with me. She has a 9-to-5 job and pays her bills. After work, though, all she wants to do is get high, drink, and watch TV. I want to study, talk, or go do things. I find myself cooking every meal, cleaning up after her, and doing all the laundry. On top of this, a very mean side of her has emerged. I love this girl, or at least I loved her before we moved in together.
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Look, darlin’, people get dumped all the time. With the exception of the 12-year-old “brides” of creepy “fundamentalist” Mormon fucksticks, everyone experiences a little getting dumped. And you know what? Most of us need to get dumped in our 20s; getting dumped is good for us. Yeah, yeah, hearts break, but very few run-of-the-mill dumps at 21 cause hearts to break irreparably. She will get over it. Which is another way of saying that one day, believe it or not, she will get over you.
Now, here’s why being dumped is often good for us: After we’re done wallowing in a pain that no one else has ever experienced or can possibly comprehend—although others’ inability to comprehend never seems to stop anyone from yammering on and on—we begin to examine the failed relationship for clues. Why did it end? Whose fault was it? If we determine that the fault lies with the asshole ex, we resolve to be on the lookout for telltale signs of assholery in the future. Thus being dumped inspires us to date smarter and more defensively.
AJust one, WE: How is this any of your business?
Maybe I’m missing something, but it sounds like both of these guys know what they want and stated their intentions clearly. Why is the first guy irrational for stating his intentions and the second guy “just monogamous”? —A Bit Confused
