Hey, everybody: If you missed last week’s column, I’m taking the week off because, well, go read last week’s column. Here’s a rerun from May 24, 1995, to tide you over. It features not only my mother but also the very first mention of my boyfriend. As you’ll see, last week wasn’t the first time I gave mom the credit for my very curious career. —Dan
“He’s 24.”
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“You got me, mom. He’s 12 years old. I’m the president of NAMBLA. I met him at Baskin-Robbins. I’m going to jail for this. But before I do, I’ll sponsor him at his confirmation, OK?”
“Well, no, of course not. I just thought he could meet an amputee that way. I guess he’d be volunteering for the wrong reasons, like a pedophile working for the Boy Scouts.”
QWhat is the medical explanation for the fact that the skin of the penis is often darker than skin that is not exposed to sunlight? Does the bacteria a penis encounters while fucking have anything to do with this phenomenon? —Ken H
As for your lover, “He sounds very nice and forgiving. Maybe too nice and too forgiving. Forgiveness is important—I’m a forgiving mom—but it sounds like he’s being a doormat. If monogamy is important to him and you can’t control yourself, then maybe you two aren’t a match.”
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