Q I’m writing in celebration of the California decision to allow gays to marry. I’m thrilled—I’ve always thought that the idea that gay marriage could hurt or affect straight people in any way was ridiculous. But a year ago, I found out I was wrong.
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Ultimately, he didn’t do it, but this conflict very nearly ended our relationship. So going forward, I think we straights and you gays have to talk about this question: If gays have a right to marriage and family, do they also have a right to start those families with my boyfriend—no matter what I think and feel about it? Wouldn’t it, at the very least, be only polite to ask the girlfriend or wife for her consent and blessing too? —Questions About Gay Marriage
A So, QAGM, you’re thrilled that gay people won the right to marry in California even though you realized a year before gay marriage was legalized in California that you had been wrong to support marriage equality because it would lead gay people to believe that we have a right to your boyfriend’s spunk—the position that lesbian couple and all your gay friends arrived at before gay marriage was legalized in California?
Your boyfriend should have been able to see how donating sperm to a lesbian couple would impact you and acknowledge that you had a right to be involved in making this decision. The fact that he didn’t involve you, and still doesn’t think he needed to, should make you think twice about marrying him.
Now, clearly you want to sleep with this woman—why write to me otherwise?—and you’re probably hoping I’ll say that you were wrong to turn her down. But were you? Well, that depends on why she’s pursuing you, NAAH. Perhaps she wants to cheat before she marries—before sleeping with someone else rises to the level of adultery—because she wants to live a little first. Perhaps she wants to make sure before marriage that the sex she’s getting from the boyfriend is as good or better than sex she’d get elsewhere. Or perhaps she wants to fuck you because she’s a skanky, skanky whore. Perhaps you should ask her.
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