Q I’m writing to you because I know my boyfriend reads your column religiously. I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me yesterday over the fact that I used to be an escort. He went through my e-mails and saw that I was answering ads, putting ads up, sending photos. We’d been planning a future together, talking about moving in together, getting married, having kids, etc, and then this happened.
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A I don’t want to put salt in your wounds, NORTH, but your boyfriend didn’t find out that you “used to be an escort.” He found out that you are an escort. Even those of us who believe that sex work should be legal and that sex workers shouldn’t be stigmatized also believe that a sex worker’s romantic partners have a right to know about the sex work. Just as people in general have a right to know when their partners are sleeping with others, sex workers’ romantic partners have a right to know about the sex work—and consent to it—because it places them at heightened risk of sexually transmitted infections.
There’s probably no salvaging this relationship, NORTH. The scale of the betrayal is just too great, and your efforts to shift blame—it’s your friend’s fault for suggesting you get back into sex work, it was that guy’s fault for offering you $3,000, it was your boyfriend’s fault (!) for occupying all your time (?)—demonstrate that you have yet to take full responsibility for your actions. You’d need to do that at the very least before your ex could begin to think about taking you back.
Thoughtful hosts purchase dark sheets and towels for guest suites. If guests leave a towel on the floor of the bathroom in a neat little ball, toss that towel in the wash—with extra bleach if the towels are white—without unfurling and inspecting. An unwise host who unfurls a balled-up white towel may find herself staring at what looks like the flag of imperial Japan. And if your guests are courteous enough to strip the bed before they leave, those balled-up sheets go straight into the wash, too.
Gay men are much less likely to be squeamish about uncut cock; indeed, lots of gay men prefer uncut cock. My god, UNCUT, there are enough gay men out there with a fetish for foreskins to support a foreskin-specific porn genre for gay men. And even if this guy doesn’t have a strong preference for uncut cock, UNCUT, it’s highly unlikely that he’ll be turned off by your clean, uncut cock.
