Q I read the letter from the woman who had cheated on her ex and now wants to patch it up. I have a similar situation, except it was my ex-girlfriend who cheated on me. We’d been living together for a few years—we were engaged—and then she suddenly moved out “temporarily” to “work out some issues,” then dumped me several weeks later for trumped-up reasons.

Stop asking for your ex-girlfriend’s absolution, sacky. Stop begging for her forgiveness. So long as you’re crawling to her, begging for forgiveness, she can go on pretending she was the injured party in your relationship. Forgive you? There’s no reason for her to do that—there’s no upside for her. So long as you’re standing there wringing your hands and acting like a cringing, wounded pussy—scratch that—a dangling, freshly slapped ball sack, she wins. Move the fuck on already, sacky.

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A When he’s dressed he’s giving himself permission to live out his fantasies (with an assist from you); when you see him dressed, your inhibitions lift because, hey, there’s no way you can freak out or outfreak the boyfriend. Routines can be deadly, of course, but I wouldn’t worry about being stuck in a rut. You’ve only been doing this for a few months, and his cross-dressing is still a shiny new toy. And you can’t simultaneously worry that you’ll come to only enjoy sex while he’s dressed up and that you’ll grow bored with sex while he’s dressed up. If you continue to enjoy dressed-up sex, you won’t get bored; if you get bored, then you can go back to non-dressed-up sex.