QI am a 23-year-old male who has been in a relationship with a great woman for four years now. She is an amazing person, and we oftentimes talk about marriage. The issue is this: I have a foot fetish and she is fully aware of it. She doesn’t like the idea of me kissing her feet or indulging my fetish in any way. We have sex quite often, and I’ve always let it slide that she doesn’t want any part of my fetish. I don’t know what to do, because I’m at a stage in my sexual growth where I need to experience my fetish. I’m getting mixed advice from different people and I just want a straight answer. The sex we have is amazing, but I would enjoy it so much more if I could act on my desires once in a while. —Sexually Frustrated Fetishist
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Share time: I have a good friend who’s not kinky at all (unless you count being gay) and he’s a runner who goes for long runs every Saturday morning. When he gets home, he handcuffs his boyfriend to a chair in his kitchen, duct-tapes one of his sweaty sneakers over the boyfriend’s face, and leaves him there while he has breakfast. My friend—who came to me for advice when his boyfriend confessed his fetish—isn’t really into guys with sneakers duct-taped to their faces. But it gets his lover off, and isn’t that what lovers are for?
Finally, SFF, don’t let the girlfriend or anyone else tell you that you’re threatening to end this relationship over something trivial. Sexual fulfillment is important, particularly if your relationship is exclusive. The “triviality” of your kink cuts both ways: If your kink is so trivial, why not just indulge it then? And over the long haul, one partner’s sexual selfishness and another’s sexual frustration rarely prove trivial. They’re more often grounds for divorce.
