Q I’ve been married four years and have a beautiful baby boy with my husband. I enjoy sex a lot, even a bit of BDSM. My husband, on the other hand, isn’t “driven by sex,” as he likes to put it, and will try tying me up only if that’s what I “really want.” You’d think if he wasn’t driven by sex, the few times we do have it he’d last for a while, but he goes at best five minutes. Once in a blue moon it’ll be about ten minutes. My problem is, all I can think about is getting fucked by some stranger with no strings attached so I can get rid of this heartbreak, for lack of a better word. But I always back out, because I don’t want to risk my family or my husband’s happiness. I don’t want to be a cheater, Dan, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life having missed out on my sexual prime because my husband already experienced his. I should mention that he’s 35 and I’m 23. I also have a few poly friends who are kinky, and they preach to me that being monogamous is a mistake and I can seek out kinky play with others without it being sexual. Please be as brutal as possible. —Permission 2 Explore Please
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A Before I get to your question, P2EP, a programming note: FUCK OUCH DAMMIT CHRIST! I’m suffering from some sort of carpal-tunnel/repetitive-motion/too-much-beating-off injury, and it feels like my right arm is on fire. Every letter I type sends a blast of white-hot pain up my arm and into my head and FUCK OUCH DAMMIT CHRIST! Since I’m in a great deal of pain here, I thought it only appropriate that I give the column over to letters about BDSM. That way at least someone—my kinkiest readers—can enjoy my suffering.
A You move. The husband is blaming you because it’s less consequential than blaming his wife. But due to the wife’s actions, he’s clearly not comfortable—FUCK OUCH DAMMIT CHRIST!—having your black-and-blue ass around anymore, so you’re out. Unfair, yes, but there’s not a lot you can do about it. Besides move.
Q I’m a 24-year-old lesbian who’s been out for five years. I am also hot, vain, in shape, and kinky as all hell. I suppose I’m what you’d call a “lipstick lesbian.” In any event, I like being thrown around, tied up, gagged, etc. One of my all-time favorite fantasies is the lesbian equivalent of pegging, i.e., being done up the ass by a hot woman with a strap-on. I like the vanilla stuff as well—holding, kissing, cuddling, dyking it up—but what I’m really into is bondage. And my last girlfriend dumped me when I mentioned that I liked to be tied up. My question is, are there other young, kinky, sexaholic feminine lesbians/bisexual women out there? Am I a complete freak? Or am I just being a sexually selfish boor? Should I just try to let go of my kinks? —Domination Yearnings Keep Encounters Stimulating
