Q I really need some help and comfort. I’m a straight 25-year-old woman, and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for four years. I’ve never been the romantic type—until I met him. At the beginning we were purely sexual. We love role-playing, and we always came up with erotic fantasies of me being fucked and used by multiple men, or some fantasy where others were involved. It was hot to me until I fell in love with him. Now he’s the only thing that turns me on.
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I’ve done everything I can to please him. I’ve done things sexually that I swore I would never do because I trusted him. I guess my question is, am I demeaning him when I ask him to not bring up others in our role-playing every time we’re intimate? It wouldn’t bother me if it were once in a while. I wind up feeling unattractive and never good enough. What can I do to make him want only me? —Not Good Enough
He’s never gonna want just you and only you, NGE. All that crazy, groupy, kinky shit that turned him on when you first got together—the shit that turned you on before you fell in love with him—still turns him on and always will turn him on.
As for feeling unattractive, you should make him aware of your insecurities—if you haven’t already—and he should be considerate enough to come through with regular reassurances about your attractiveness, his feelings for you, how hot he thinks your body is, etc, etc.
A You could stick it out, I suppose, in the hopes that true love has the opposite effect on your girlfriend than it did on NGE here and that once she’s crazy for you, CUM, she’ll want to fuck other people and will give you the go-ahead to do the same. The odds of that happening, however, are close enough to nonexistent that I would be stripped of my professional accreditation if I advised you to live in hope.
A It’s possible that your friend’s not boyfriend seroconverted sometime after their fuck-buddy arrangement expired and before they started dating, and wants to disclose his new HIV status before they start fucking again but is having a hard time working up the nerve.
