Q I’m a married white guy in my 50s. My wife and I do some role-playing where I’m “Ted,” her real-life father. In her script, I yell at my “bad daughter” (my wife) over some infraction and send her to her room. Later on, I sneak in and tell her that she could “make Daddy very happy” if we were to do some “secret, special things” together. I usually end up fingering her still-virginal butt while “forcing” her to suck my dick. Then I roll her over and rape the hell out of her.
Let’s suppose your wife was raped by her actual father and—after years of processing the abuse and the trauma—she emerged happy and healthy and stable, but saddled with an all-consuming, high-creep-quotient incest-role-play fetish. Your wife isn’t alone: a small handful of rape victims develop fantasies about rape role-play scenarios. An even smaller number of Holocaust survivors developed Nazi role-play fantasies. Sometimes our erotic imaginations are as inexplicable as they are powerful.
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Q I’m a 23-year-old, single gay man. One of my siblings (with whom I was close) passed away about a month ago. I want to start dating again, but I’m not sure how to tell if I’m ready or when I will be. I don’t want to be unloading my issues on potential first dates (that’s why I’m starting to see a therapist), but during the getting-to-know-you small talk, siblings always seem to come up. How do I handle this without seeming unmoved by my sibling’s death and without scaring off the other guy? —Trying to Move Forward
I know this sounds trivial, and it wasn’t such a big problem for the first year of our relationship. But it has grown from small annoyance to giant, grating, huge turnoff. I don’t know how to tell him to stop. I’ve brought it up before, but it sounds so stupid, and then he gets self-conscious and I feel bad. I can’t marry him under these circumstances, though. What do I do? —Ears Plugged
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