Q I’m a straight male college student in a relationship, which had been going great. The only incongruity was that, for a religious reason, I don’t want to have penetrative vaginal sex before marriage. I’m up for anything else—I would eat her out, piss on her, whatever else—but not vaginal sex. I made this clear at the beginning. My girlfriend started bringing up how she wanted to have “actual” sex. I told her, “I love you, and if you need to fuck other guys, go for it.” To my relief, she was completely repulsed and offended by the suggestion.
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A Your dilemma is interesting, WAFFLER, but you know what I’m more interested in? I’d like to know which religion we’re talking about here. I’d really like to know which particular faith frowns on vaginal intercourse before marriage but smiles on oral and piss scenes and OKs women having vaginal intercourse before marriage but only with men they don’t intend to marry. That sounds like a church I’d like to visit.
Look, WAFFLER, doing everything but vaginal for religious reasons is deeply silly. If you’re going to be in a sexual relationship, be in a sexual relationship. I promise you that any God who frowns on vaginal before marriage also frowns on piss play before marriage and eating pussy before marriage.
(3) Are you still into Ashton Kutcher or do you have a new fantasy flame? —Your Devoted Reader
I don’t really want to sleep on a plastic-wrapped mattress and change my sheets every time we have sex. Does anything exist that’s superabsorbent that I could put down during sex, or even something that might go under the sheets to at least protect the bed? —Wasting Endless Towels
Savage Love readers stuck up for Constance McMillen after she was victimized by the homophobic morons who run her high school. Now we need to stick up for a straight high-school coach being victimized by the sexphobic morons who run his. People shouldn’t lose their jobs after their privacy has been invaded, and people shouldn’t be punished for engaging in private, consensual sex acts. Send an e-mail to Donna Richardson at richardsod@duvalschools.org. Let Richardson know that she’s in the wrong. And let others know to let her know.
