Q My husband and I have been married for just a year, but we dated for ten years prior to that. I thought we had a very understanding, open relationship, but in the last couple of days I found out that he has a serious obsession with females wearing running shoes. He had in the past hinted at the fact that it turns him on, but I had no idea of the scope of this obsession. Now I’ve discovered that he spends many hours a week devoted to this fetish. He was sloppy in covering his tracks one day, and I found evidence on his computer.
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He says that he didn’t want to hurt me, but he has done just that. I feel physically sick to my stomach knowing that I didn’t really know who he was all this time. We still have to work it out and really talk about our new situation. But I’m beginning to think our marriage isn’t going to survive this. Am I being too sensitive? How can I fix my marriage? —Dumbfounded in Brooklyn
A Does your husband like your tits only, DIB, or can he get a hard-on for every tits-wearing woman who goes by? Does he like your pussy only, DIB, or can he get a hard-on for every pussy-having woman who goes by?
Q A good friend of mine is engaged to a woman with an extremely low sex drive. He’d like to have sex every day; she barely responds to his touch. I advised him to work up the nerve to suggest an “understanding” or to disengage. If he’s this frustrated as a 27-year-old fiance, how’s he going to feel after five years in a monogamous marriage? —Concerned Buddy
Even so, CA, I’m reluctant to tell you to stop. Spend a few weeks reading my e-mails, and you’ll come to regard anything—anything at all—that lights a fire under the marital bed as a universal good. So talk to your husband. Tell him that—like everyone else on earth—you “discovered” Chatroulette about four weeks ago. Then tell him you were surprised by (1) just how many dudes are jerking off in front of their computers at any given moment and (2) just how turned on you were by their exhibitionism. Confess that you’ve been a bit obsessed with the site, add that it’s why you’ve been so horny lately, and then invite him to join you for a session. If he seems into the idea, or gets into it once you’re online, sheepishly confess that you’ve been flashing a little skin yourself.
E-mail, call, and fax Itawamba Schools superintendent Teresa McNeece (tmcneece@itawamba.k12.ms.us, phone 662-862-2159 ext. 14, fax 662-862-4713) and Itawamba Agricultural principal Trae Wiygul (twiygul@itawamba.k12.ms.us, 662-862-3104). Then join the Facebook page “Let Constance Take Her Girlfriend to Prom.” And finally, make donations to the Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition (mssafeschools.org), which is organizing an alternate prom that will welcome all students, and make a larger donation to the ACLU LGBT Project (tinyurl.com/yl9mvkb), which is defending not just McMillen but other gay and lesbian teenagers across the country.
