Q OK: Female, married 15 years, one young child. No sex with husband over last five years. Have tried therapy, talking, not talking, confrontation—you name it, Dan, I tried it. Lingerie, kink, porn. Seriously, everything. A year and a half ago I got into a relationship with a married guy, a man who also wasn’t getting any at home. Our agreement is basically this: no strings, no ties that could hurt our families, have as much fun as we can.
But do see him less often, NGA, and redouble your efforts to keep the affair secret.
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You are less the spouse and lover now, and more the nurse and caretaker. In consideration of the good years you had together and with the knowledge that his undiagnosed illness could have been behind his lack of interest in sex, let go of whatever lingering resentments you have. Do everything you can to make your husband comfortable and make his death “good”—and that includes keeping your affair from him.
A Your situation will not improve, NOT, until you find yourself a boyfriend who isn’t a fag.
—Choked Up in Toronto
Toews’s affair became public two years ago, but the scandal didn’t destroy him—he became minister of public safety this January—because the Canadian press sniffed that Toews’s affair and divorce were private. Excuse me, Canadian press pansies, but a politician who scares up votes attacking the private lives of others, a politician who insists that other people are out to destroy his marriage, can’t be allowed to hide behind “my private business!” when it turns out that the only threat to the politician’s marriage was the politician’s own greasy cock.
