I spoke at Pacific University in Forest Grove, Oregon, last Thursday night. PU students submitted a lot more questions—anonymous, on three-by-five-inch cards—than I could possibly answer in the 90 minutes we had together. So I’m going to use this week’s column to answer some of the ones I didn’t get to. Here we go:
Second: all those quiet, timid, and cowardly NALT Christians out there who support marriage equality but have allowed their conservative coreligionists to hijack Christianity. (NALT stands for “not all like that,” the phrase you hear from liberal Christians whenever you bitch about conservative Christians, i.e., “We’re not all like that!” Yes, yes, NALTs—we know. You’re not all like that. Don’t tell us. Tell Tony Perkins, tell the pope, tell Maggie Gallagher, et al.)
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A I’m an animal already—I’m a primate, like you. If I had to be some other kind of animal, well, I would want to be either a tapeworm living in my husband’s gut or a particularly lethal bacteria that had just been inhaled by Glenn Beck.
Q What is your response to people who say that being gay is a choice?
A An ounce of prevention—or the careful placement of a towel—is worth a pound of Spray ‘n Wash Stain Stick. If putting down a towel, or taking time to douche, is too much for you, fuck on the floor or get brown sheets.
Q Is college really the best place to meet the love of your life? And if not, then what do you do in the meantime?
