Q I’ve been married for 16 years and have three children. My marriage isn’t the best, nor is the sex. I’ve strayed many times, and it’s always been with women—I love women and I love having sex with women. However, for years I have had a fantasy about being with a transsexual. I recently paid to be with a T-girl escort. She was flipping gorgeous. She had a dick, sure, but she was the hottest fucking girl I have ever seen—absolutely gorgeous. She talked like a girl, looked like a girl, smelled like a girl, had the body of a girl—she was all girl, except for the unit. I have no interest in being with a man. Does seeing this T-girl make me gay? —Walked on the Wild Side
An awful lot of “rounding up” and “rounding down” goes on when it comes to sexual identities. There are bi women out there who round themselves up to lesbian because they’re with women or primarily attracted to women or afraid of mean lesbians who hate bi women. (Some of those mean lesbians are, predictably enough, bi themselves.) Some bi guys in gay relationships round themselves up to gay; a small number of gays and lesbians round themselves down to bi in solidarity or something; and lots of bi men and women in straight relationships round themselves down to straight. (And there are gay men and lesbians—100 percent homos—who identify as straight. These closet cases aren’t rounding up or down; they’re lying.)
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A Someone who wants to be loved and accepted for the person she is, WBC, shouldn’t mislead her gentleman callers.
Do I have any obligation to warn women about him? My friends and I were debating this hypothetically until two days ago, when I saw him on a date with a woman I know. Do I tell her what a douche this guy is, or do I let her discover it on her own? —What Would Dan Do?
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