Q I’m a 29-year-old single straight man. Over the past year I’ve become very close friends with a gay man close to my age. We have a blast hanging out, and I value our friendship. Four months ago he told me that he’d developed romantic feelings for me and said he needed a little space to save our friendship. For a couple of months we saw each other only with mutual friends. Then we started hanging out again. It’s been great, and he seems very comfortable with me again. The thing is, I’m now experiencing a sexual attraction to him. I’ve never been with a man and I’m very attracted to women, but it doesn’t bother me that I suddenly feel this way.
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A While you’re open to having a gay experience with your friend, SEFOG, he’d probably prefer to have a gay relationship with someone. The fact that he can’t “have you”—i.e., you’re never gonna gay marry him—may make him reluctant to fuck your ass. Having sex with you could obviously reignite feelings he made an effort to squash to “save the friendship”—duh—and he may dread the feelings of jealousy and inadequacy that could swamp him if you wind up in a LTR with a woman.
Lob your balls into your friend’s court, SEFOG, and see what he says. You were able to remain friends after he confessed his attraction to you, so I don’t see why you wouldn’t be able to remain friends after you confess your attraction to him.
Go get tested, SFMi.
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