QI’m a 20-year-old girl, and I’ve been dating my boyfriend, who’s 23, for two years. From the get-go he’s known that I’m bi, and like most straight guys, he’s happy to be with a girl who likes girls.
Nice, sexually adventurous girls approached by 23-year-old pieces of male eye candy about two-girls/one-guy threesomes will assume that it’s about Eye Candy’s fantasies, not the girlfriend’s. And if you’re hanging back, looking uncomfortable, jealous, and headachy, even a girl who might be up for a threesome is going to read reluctance into your demeanor, presume your boyfriend is pressuring you, and politely decline. (Or she’s going to think you have swine flu and decline.)
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A Are you happy? Is he happy? That’s all that matters. Just keep those lines of communication open, NEWB, while you continue to explore your sexualities together. And remind yourself every once in a while that even the less experienced partner in a relationship is allowed to have likes and dislikes, offer constructive criticisms, and make suggestions—and sometimes demands. And anyone who is being GGG for her partner has every right to expect her partner to return the favor.
So here’s what I’d do if I were you, ACLU. Pull the boy aside for a chat. Begin with, “You seem like a nice kid,” and then let him have it: “But if you get my niece pregnant, I’ll kill you.” Now pay attention to the italicized bits in what comes next: “I’d rather you didn’t fuck her—she’s 14, so are you—but if you need condoms or advice about anything, don’t hesitate to ask. I won’t repeat anything you ask me about to my sister. And don’t think I won’t kick your ass just because I’m gay. I can and I will. Oh, and love the jacket—where did you get it?”
