QI’m a 67-year-old woman, almost 68, who’s been married four times—once widowed (with three kids in their 40s who’ve turned out pretty well), divorced three times. I recently met someone online: he’s 48, a wealthy, educated man with two boys, 12 and 14. He lives the cuckoldt lifestyle and is looking for a woman to marry who would participate in and enjoy this with him. He says he “craves and needs” this lifestyle, and from what he’s said so far, his boys have been trained from an early age also to live this lifestyle and would require that the woman he marries include them in all ways.

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If I like this man after meeting him, I’d consider this lifestyle, but with boundaries where the boys are concerned. As the dominant, what I say goes, no questions asked (he has agreed to this in a recent IM), but I think we need to find a balance.

A What do I think? I think—and hope and pray—that this letter is complete bullshit. And I think I’m gonna go boil my laptop after writing this response. And I think I’m tempted to forward your e-mail on to the police. And I think I would do just that if I wasn’t convinced that this man with whom you’ve been corresponding—assuming you exist, NTC—is just another creepy pervert furiously beating off in front of a computer as he spins out his insanely creepy sexual fantasies for a gullible online audience of one.

Q I’m in desperate need. I’ve been dating a guy for two years. We’re both 25, and we love each other a lot. He’s sexy as hell (half Asian, quarter Native American, quarter black—he’s divine), we connect, he’s funny, upbeat, and honest. Unfortunately, we have a recurring fight (once or twice a month), and I wonder if we will ever resolve this issue. He likes the attention of other women. The fight goes like this: he’ll do something borderline inappropriate with some chick right in front of me (most recently, he had 30 consecutive drunk-posts on Facebook with some 19-year-old he met through his roommate), and I’ll get pissed and hurt. I approach him calmly and say that it feels disrespectful and I hope that one day we will come to an agreement on this issue. He swears that it’s all in my head and that I work myself up over nothing. But he knows it hurts my feelings, and my hurt’s made worse because he’s disregarding them. He usually gets mad, says he “didn’t do anything wrong” and he “can’t talk to me anymore,” and then I won’t hear from him for a day or so.

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