Q I’m a straight college guy, age 21, and I share a house with some buddies and a couple. Anyhow, the interesting stuff: This couple has been together for four years. They’re both quite sexual, but she’s got more libido than he does. I’ve got a big sex drive too. Both of them have stated an openness to polyamorous situations. She started flirting with me three weeks ago, and flirting turned into no-sex threesomes with her and her BF every few nights.
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I’m fine with being the “secondary” guy. But I’d much rather have some privacy if we—meaning me and her—are gonna try to get each other off, particularly if this arrangement of ours should progress to actual sex. But this is tough, since there’s nowhere in the house to go other than their room. Incidentally, we haven’t told our other friends/housemates about this, although they could probably put two and two together; she screams in orgasm, and half an hour later I say good night and go back down to my room.
A You’re fingering her, you’re sucking her tits, you’re getting her off (screaming orgasms induced dicklessly), she’s getting you off (your orgasms induced somehow or other)—which means, CTOACN, that this can’t be described as a “no-sex” arrangement. You’re not having vaginal intercourse, you’re not kissing the girl, but you’re having sex, and a lot of it.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course. But it could mean asking for quality time alone with his girlfriend would bring the messing around to an end.
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