By Dan Savage
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Q I suppose you’re going to call me an asshole once you’ve finished reading my letter, but I hope you have some advice for me regardless.I’m a 45-year-old heterosexual male. My last relationship lasted nearly seven years. I’m currently single, and I’m discouraged. One of the reasons for my discouragement: I have to get too far into a relationship before I can determine if it will work out with any particular woman. An awful lot of emotion, time, and effort can be required to get that first look into a woman’s panties. And this is where my problem lies. A woman can have the sweetest personality, she can be pretty and hardworking, but if her pussy isn’t bald and her “little man in the boat” doesn’t fit comfortably in my mouth, I am not turned on. I require a shaved pussy and a big clit.I’ve asked women with whom I’ve become close to go bald. If the answer’s no, there’s no need to return. I respect a woman’s control over her own body, of course, but I like a big clit. She may or may not be bald, but if the clit isn’t big enough, there’s no point returning. I’ve heard women say that they were disappointed to find that a man’s dick was too small or too large, or they didn’t like that it curved to the left or right. Do I have a right to a similar preference? What do I do? Is there a way to ask about these issues before emotion, time, and effort are invested? —Call Me Asshole
So what do you do? Well, CMA, since being up-front about your very particular, deal-breaking preferences would result in your never seeing another pussy again in your life, I think you keep your mouth shut. You’re just going to have to date and invest the time. And then if you discover once you get into her pants that her clit is too small or her pussy is too hairy, CMA, just make up a nice, polite, it’s-not-you-it’s-me lie. It wouldn’t be fair to leave her wondering what the hell is wrong with her when in actual fact there’s something wrong with you.
How big is his forearm?
