QHealthy straight male here. The problem is twofold: my girlfriend doesn’t like come in her mouth and she feels that doggy-style is objectifying to women. Therefore, we don’t do either. She says she wants to get more comfortable and try these things. But they never seem to happen—and when I bring them up it turns into a touchy discussion. These are #1 and #2, respectively, on my list of favorite things to do in the bedroom, and I’m not OK with not doing them indefinitely. The sex is otherwise great, but I do think there’s a double standard at work here. She had an ex who refused to go down on her. When I said, “He needed to man up and take one for the team, even if he didn’t like it,” she readily agreed with me. So why can’t she “take one for the team” and swallow my come? I would feel bad if she were doing something she wasn’t comfortable with, but it disappoints me when she takes my dick out of her mouth and points it at my stomach when I start to come. I think she has a double standard. —Really Anxious Not Doing Yearnings
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AThe comparison you’re making between your girlfriend and her ex isn’t really fair. Your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend refused to go down on her. Not only does your girlfriend go down on you, RANDY, she’s getting you off. Her blow jobs may not wrap up the way you’d like—with her swallowing your come—but you are getting blow jobs.
And your girlfriend may have a good reason for not swallowing your come, RANDY. Semen contains prostaglandins—”a group of lipid compounds that are derived enzymatically from fatty acids and have important functions in the animal body,” says Wiki—and some people experience explosive diarrhea shortly after ingesting the prostaglandins in semen. It’s possible that your girlfriend isn’t swallowing because she doesn’t want to have to run to the bathroom two minutes later and take a noisy shit while her new boyfriend listens in the next room.
QI had to write after reading your response to Wanted Toys Too, the aunt who wanted to buy her niece a dildo. I was once a teenage girl whose older cousin tried to “help me out” this way, and I was mortified. WTT wants to get her niece a sex toy, she said, because WTT experimented with a plastic banana when she was a girl because she didn’t want “a penis to be the first thing of substance put in [her] vagina.” Guess what? That is exactly what I wanted, so I had no need for a dildo, and I had access to plenty of good sex advice! Advice that I asked for! This aunt is projecting her crap on her niece! She should back off and mind her own business. —MYOB About Sex
