QMy brother is 22 years old and mentally ill with social anxiety on the scale of agoraphobia (officially diagnosed). He’s made significant progress in the past few years, but he’s stuck on the fact that he’s a virgin and is convinced that he’s not going to make any real social progress until that’s no longer a fact. His particular problem makes it impossible to reason with him—he’s a little Asperger’s-y—and he is convinced that he will only be able to pursue a job, have a social life, and tackle other obstacles after he loses his virginity. Financially, it would be easy for me to drive him to Nevada and eliminate the virginity issue. He’s asked our mom to do so. My family isn’t hung up on “purity” where sex and virginity are concerned, so we’re open to this. I don’t have any illusions that this will solve his problems, but my mom and I are hopeful that it would eliminate an excuse that’s keeping him from taking positive steps forward. Should I offer to take him? Or force him to sort it out on his own despite his crippling social issues? —Socially Interactive Sister

So hire a sex worker for your brother, SIS, if you think it will help—even if it just eliminates an excuse that’s blocking his progress—and there’s no need to drive to Nevada. Siouxsie suggests you look for an “experienced” (read: somewhat older) escort with an online presence in your area. A sex worker who’s over 25 or 30 and maintains her own website—and has write-ups on escort-review sites—is not just far less likely to be trafficked or exploited, she’s far more likely to be experienced and patient. She may have even worked with men like your brother before.

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QI’m a 23-year-old bi female from Vancouver, British Columbia, and I’ve been heavily sub identified since I started having sex nine years ago. (Don’t worry—the age of consent was 14 then!) But lately, with the helpful guidance of my lovely boyfriend, I’ve been realizing I have a very pronounced dom streak. Do you have any pointers on starting out? I read The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, and it was helpful, but I was wondering if you had any tips. I’m pretty uncomfortable topping my boyfriend—he’s always been the top, and I’m nervous about doing it wrong. —Another Novice Top