If you happen to have a car (and are sober enough to drive it), the possibilities are endless, which is exactly how I wound up at Johnnie’s Beef in Elmwood Park with Michael Sanchez and Monte LeMonte. Sanchez and LeMonte coproduce and cohost I Shit You Not, a storytelling series in Logan Square dedicated to, well, shit. Accidentally shitting your pants in public, to be specific. In the show, comedians and monologuists share stories most people would rather forget.
On any night of the week, local comics can be found in the back of dingy bars in neighborhoods all over the city, telling jokes to crowds largely comprised of other comics. By the time the shows let out—usually sometime between midnight and 2 AM—a comedian has one (or both) of two things in mind: food or booze. As such, they’re experts on where to eat late at night, particularly the kind of places that aren’t so suitable for the daytime. Whether you’re looking for a hole-in-the wall taco joint in Humboldt Park, a greasy spoon in North Center, or a hot dog stand in Bucktown, your average Chicago comedian is a connoisseur of ill-advised late-night grazing.
On a recent Thursday, however, a responsive crowd appeared to enjoy an hour and half of shit stories, and the mood was celebratory. We dined on combos, Johnnie’s hearty if debilitating mash-up of an Italian sausage and an Italian beef sandwich, topped with peppers and dipped in jus. “Most combos you get, the sausage is cooked on a char grill,” explains LeMonte, whose blog, Monteism: Off the Eatin’ Path, details his perusal of the city’s finest fast-food spots. “This is cooked on metal skewers, over a flame. The beef has a nice spice. The flavor is different—I mean, all places are different, but this place is unique.”
That kind of eating—even without extra pepper oil—can take its toll, and LeMonte and Sanchez admit to scaling back in recent years. “As I get older, I eat a lot better,” Sanchez says. “I’m thinking, ‘That looks good, but it’s going to mess my stomach up.”
