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That’s the opening of Christopher Hayes’s 2005 story about Debra Shore’s energetic campaign to join the water rec board, which oversees the agency that treats wastewater—that is, sewage—and then releases it into a drainage system leading to the Mississippi. Thanks in part to the interest raised by Shore’s 2006 election, the three board spots on the ballot this year have provoked an intense, costly, and fascinating Democratic free-for-all among the trio of incumbents and five aggressive challengers. And most of them have Web sites.

Meany’s the board veteran, having served for 17 years, and Avila is one of its most enthusiastic promoters, prone to saying things like, “We’re talking about water and environment, the safety of the planet! The good lord made the planet, and he made human beings! In order for humans, animals and plants to survive, we need water! Without water, we wouldn’t even make it to February 5th!”

“If you can’t even make those meetings, why are you a commissioner?” wonders Spyropoulos.

“My father has been very helpful to me, as any father would,” she said. “And I’m not suggesting BP go out of business; I’m urging them to be more responsible for how and where the dump their toxins—until we find an alternative to burning gasoline.”