QI’m a 28-year-old gay man living in a major east-coast city. I recently connected with a guy on a vanilla dating website, and we are quickly developing a real interest in each other. After talking online for a bit, we exchanged numbers. Our first conversation was through text messages for the better part of six hours. The next night we talked over the phone for an hour or two. And the third consecutive night was our first date. In that first text conversation, he stated that he is into “everything from mild to wild.” The comment came without solicitation from me, during a conversation that he initiated about sexual preferences (e.g., top or bottom, dom or sub). This was a major turn-on for me, increasing my interest in him. I’ve had limited experience with BDSM, but I’m looking to try more, so I was thrilled to receive this message. I am very familiar with one kink: diapers. It’s a huge part of my sexual identity, and I ideally want it to be part of a sex life with my partner. Normally I’d wait until months into a new relationship to bring up the topic, but since he opened the door, should I talk about it now? Should I drop hints to see how he responds? Since this has the potential to be more than just a hookup, what’s the best way to proceed? —Nervously Anticipating Padded Pants in Erotic Situations

And this presents you with a problem. As Emily Post put it: “A sexual fetish for an item of attire so strongly associated with childhood (indeed, with the nursery itself!) will give pause to even the most depraved of suitors.” As such, NAPPIES, you may be within your rights to drop hints about your diaper fetish instead of flat-out disclosing it. Ask him if he really meant everything and see what he says. If he says, “Yes, everything,” then spill—or leak—your kink.

“Of course she’s getting so much flirtatious attention from younger guys!” says Gallop. “There are many young men out there interested in and attracted to older women—but society considers that relationship model less socially acceptable than the older-man/younger-woman version, which is why she’s so surprised. Well, the good news is she can stay single, not embark on any LTRs with the opposite sex, and still have a lot of fun with younger men, without worrying about keeping conversations going—because the fun doesn’t need to involve much talking.”