QI’m stumped, Dan. In the novel Fifty Shades of Grey, which has been the subject of much discussion due to its controversial subject matter (a young woman gets involved in a BDSM relationship), the term “canning” is used numerous times. Despite my best efforts, I cannot find a definition for this practice. Who else can I turn to but you? —Confused And Naive, New Era Definition
QI’m a 43-year-old woman, married for 19 years, and I need your help! Like most middle-aged moms, I read Fifty Shades of Grey. I understand that it is fiction. But it has motivated me to spice things up in the bedroom. The problem is that my husband is a dud. He’s not open to trying anything that isn’t missionary or doggy. That’s the extent of it. I feel as if I’ve tried everything. He’s happy with the way things are. Period. What do I do? —Woman Has Interesting Perversions
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If you don’t have access to a time machine, WHIP, tell your husband that while he may be happy with the way things are, you’re not. Which means things have to change.
“There is an expectation of privacy in a bathroom stall,” says Seattle Police Department spokesperson Sergeant Sean Whitcomb. “So obviously, what people do there is their personal business.”
Forgive me for laughing, SPANK, but I’m having a hard time keeping a straight face. If someone called the actual cops about a toilet wanker—and not, say, the Seattle Police Department’s polite and reasonable spokesperson—it’s the wanker who’ll wind up in handcuffs, not the caller. Beat cops don’t generally give the benefit of the doubt to guys rubbing ’em out in public toilets. They’ll assume you were cruising the toilet or, worse yet, that you’re the kind of perv who gets off to the sounds and smells of other men taking craps, and they’ll arrest you.
